7 most absurd bollywood songs of all times

Bollywood is an industry which relies geavily upon the success of its music to ultimately derive the success of the films. From time immemorial, music has pretty much been the soul of Bollywood and has gems that make it impossible to even imagine a world of films without songs. Hollywood may have something to say about that, but that's the beauty of Indian cinema. So having said that, it might be close to impossible to do any top 10 list related to music, or in case of best song even a top 100 might seem like unachievable one. However what we can do is probably try and look back at some of the songs which stood out for sheer absurdity of their lyrics, picturization and music.

I will not try to typecast the double meaning songs from Dalaal (Kabootar atariya pe chadhta hi hai) or Choli ke Peeche kya hai (Common teenager knowledge). Not that these songs were not weird but because these cult classics had one or the other way to create a mass appeal (and more because I like these songs, so yahan mai wahi daloonga jo mujhe trash lagta hai, aapko usse kya)

And more or less I am totally going to ignore the contemporary bollywood in which the overall music is absurd. So picking ut some songs like Mohabbat hai Mirchi or Chiggie Wiggie will be hurting the sentiments of the complete industry (no privilege to too much trashy compared to very trashy)

zara zara touch me na, pliss nice sowng

And no popular Govinda songs. Period. They are all good. Whether it is mai tujhko bhaga laya hoon tere ghar se, tere baap ke darr se or Sarkai lo Khatiya jada lage.

A list of those songs was already covered by Filmistani before

aa aa ee, oo oo oo. oo oo oohhhhh

So here's my personal top 10 for the songs (love them or hate them) who I believe are weird/absurd or maybe even trash

1. Garam Garam Chai
There was a movie in 1995 called dance Party (nevermind if you havent heard of it, probably no one ever heard of it. Not even the cast and crew of the fil included) which featured a gem from the God of Gems - baba Sehgal

This is how the song goes

up ke bihar ke mere friend khas friends

chhuk chhuk gaadi mein baithe

raat ke baje the sade gyarah mujhe uhu hu hu sardi lagi

maine bola yaar kunal mujhe de de ek shol

bola aane de pareli station lenge ek samaj gaya

no no no no no

chahiye na koi mujhe aisi waisi dish kash mil jaati mujhe

garam garam chai garam garam chai

The video isn't bad either. Just look at Shakti kapoor #jussayin

2. Din me leti hai, Raat me leti hai
So this one did not feature in the previous cover on double meaning one but it deserves a special mention just for the sheer audacity of the crew which created this song. From the movie Amanat (1994), the song has Kumar Sanu, Ila Arun and Alka Yagnik together creating this magical experience. And who better than Bappi da to create the tunes (with his previous accolades of Dalal and Disco era). The song goes like this

din me leti hai raat me leti hai

subah ko leti hai sham ko leti hai

bas me leti hai bas bas, lokal me leti hai

thiatar me leti hai hotel me leti hai

chhat pe leti hai, kamre me leti hai

bistar me leti hai, khule aam

let ke leti hai, baith ke leti hai

3. Ek rasgulla kahin fat gaya re
Izzatdar (1990) is a remarkable film for so many reasons. Particularly the last scene featuring Dileep sahab and Govinda where Yusuf fights the gangster using a chapati. Yes, you heard it right, a fuckin Chapati. Never underestimate the power of 'Shakti Bhog' . For full pleasure, directly fo to 3:40 on the video

Is bandook me kitni roti hai re? I mean Goli

But that was still not the highest point in the film. It reaches the pinnacle with the song

sun o mister o mister 

sun o mister o mister mister o mister (WTF)

ek rasgulla kahi fat gaya re re baba re

fat ke jalebi se lipat gaya re

4. Maalan tere baag me narangi latke
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that mere presence of Shakti Kapoor in a video sometimes can disgust viewers enough to have a fit. So 'nandu sabka bandu' is not always a pretty sight. But when the backdrop of the movie is a Prabhuji one man show, then the significance of a trashy song always reaches new heights. Inspired from a Rajasthani folk song of the same name, this was a classic in its time and somehow not available on youtube anymore in its original format. But the intent of the song was appalingly apparent.

"Malan tara baag mein nazuk nazuk daal par narangi latke” "Teri narangi sari duniya se hatke"

the original folk is somehow available

5. You are my chicken fry
Bappi da was always known for pulling the rabbit out of the hat but never before had he done the magic like the Chicken Fry. I mean how often would you think of comparing your loved one to a chicken dish. No objectification there, pure poetry. Culinary Poetry at its best. The lyrics of the song go like this

You are my chicken fry

You are my fish fry

Kabhi na kehna kudiye bye bye bye

You are my samosa

You are my masala dosa

Main na kahungi mundiya bye bye bye

This song also got lost in the sands of time and no original video is available for the song, but the lyrics and the music would never go away and will remain forever etched in our memories. The lyrics were 

6. Doodh ban jaoongi, malai ban jaoongi
Bollywood's fascination with kitchen is always apparent. Songs satisfying the apetite in literal sense. This cult song from 1995 film Sarhad, objectifies women differently. Doodh, sharab, kebab, machhi. Full 5 course meal. Sung by no less than Asha Bhosle, this one will remain etched in trashy song lovers mind forever

The video of the song is appropriate as well. Have a look

7. Ladki kaise fansayi jati hai (Kishor Kumar)
The list will end with another legend snging one of the classic songs for Ramsay brothers. Kishor da took the song to another level with his efferevescent style. Samri (1985) is considered one of Ramsay brothers finest and not for nothing. Bappi Da with his heart throbbing music, add to that the brilliant Kishore da and what comes out is this

Filmed on a certain Rajan Sippy, who never achieved the same fame as Puneet Issar or Hemant Birje

Not to mention the movie itself, the first 3D horror film in India. Here's a look at its trailer. 

Hope the list is apetising enough. Let us know if you agree or have something to add to the list

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5 Biopics that deserves to be told

Despite having celebrated 100 years of Indian Cinema, we are yet to grow up as an industry to be
looked up to. For the record, we make the highest number of movies in the entire world, but if we scrutinize the quality of our movies with those of our contemporaries, we fail.

The reason for this is the lack of effort put in on the script or say screenplay for that matter. All mainstream Hindi movies can broadly be classified into

a) Love Story, where there will be inequality (caste, creed, religion) between hero and the heroine and the whole theatrics.
b) Revenge Story, where the parents of the hero will be killed by the villain and the hero will search for him for 3 epic hours and despite meeting villain every 15-20 minutes, it will only to be disclosed in the climax that he was the penultimate guy.
c) Honest-Person-Corrupt-Society, where the actor is the most honest person of the world and everyone else is corrupt (No, we are not talking about Arvind Kejriwal[Politics is the current mood of the nation, couldn’t help bring it here :P]) and the actor will fight till the end to change the system.

If one looks at the west, some of the awe-inspiring movies are either based on novels or some real person. Hindi Cinema has also tried to look beyond the traditional story subjects and movies like Vicky Donor, Paan Singh Tomar, Kahaani, Gangs of Wasseypur are to name a few. Biopics like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag brought real life story into contention but no takers for recently released Manjunath brought out the fact that things have been better since the past decade but we have still a long way to go.

Today, we at Filmistani, try to give our filmmakers some individuals on whom if a movie is made, will be out of the box and also inspire the cine-goers.

#5: Kalpana Chawla: Wouldn’t the story of a girl child from Haryana who managed to break into the ranks in NASA, and the tragic disaster that followed, would make it great on the celluloid.

I feel goose bumps by her famous quote “When you look at the stars and the galaxy, you feel that you are not just from any particular piece of land, but from the solar system." I am sure that it can inspire whole lot of generation to be another Kalpana Chawla and also it can be India’s answer to Gravity.

#4: Kishore Kumar: While there is no doubt on how famous the singer is, there are many facets of him, which are still unknown to us.

For example, He apparently made Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi, hoping it would fail commercially. He wanted to show losses in his income, and thus avoid paying a huge income tax to the authorities. So he made it, and waited eagerly for it to collapse. However, it surprisingly went on to become box-office success. He was so disgusted with this that he gave all its rights to his secretary. He is said to have been paranoid about not being paid. I am sure that if a biopic is made on his life, it will be both entertaining and inspiring.

#3: Neerja Bhanot: For starters, who don’t know her, let me give some brief. She was a flight attendant for Pan Am, based in Mumbai, India, and was murdered while saving passengers from terrorists on board the hijacked Pan Am Flight 73 in 1986.

Posthumously, she became the youngest recipient of India's highest civilian award for bravery, the Ashok Chakra. Although this incident has been depicted in HindI Movies like “Ye Dil Aashiqana” and “Zameen” but none of them has touched upon her story (as her marriage turned sour following dowry pressure) which deserves to be told on Big Screen. I am sure it can inspire many people.

#2: Yuvraj Singh: Oh Boy, his life is a big story. His parents divorced and his mother raised him. When he won the National U-14 Roller Skating Championship, his father threw away the medal and told him to forget skating and concentrate on cricket.

Having an illustrious career with 2 world cup victories to his credit, he was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his left lung, he went for a treatment and he fought back bravely. His story will surely inspire millions.

#1: Sanjay Gandhi: He was the elder son of Indira Gandhi and before his demise in 1980; he made his mark in Indian Politics. Maruti Udyog, today India's premier automobile manufacturing corporation, was founded by Sanjay Gandhi, but the company did not produce any vehicles during his lifetime.

More so, he was criticized because of the test model. It was said that during the Emergency he virtually ran India along with his friends. It was also quipped that Sanjay Gandhi had total control over his mother and that the government was run by the PMH (Prime Minister House) rather than the PMO (Prime Minister Office). Such was his aura that some theory suggests that his mother apparently got him killed in a plane crash. He initiated a widespread compulsory sterilization program to limit population growth. He escaped an assassination attempt in 1977. Making a movie on Sanjay Gandhi would be tough given all the controversies he has been associated with. As Mr. Anurag Kashyap very famously said in one of his interviews that you can make movies in India on every subject except Politics, it looks like there will be no takers to this story in the near future.

P.S. We have not suggested so as to who will play these roles because there is no formula when it comes to portray any real life character. I mean, who would have thought that Farhan Akhtar will portray Milkha Singh so beautifully. A very classic example would be Heath Ledger. The whole batman fan community (including me :P) were upset when Nolan decide Ledger to cast as Joker. Rest is History.

Hope you like this article. Please leave your comment/feedback in the space below.

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Top 10 Bollywood Soundtracks of 2013

It's been almost 4 months into 2014 and still Aashiqui 2's "Tum Hi Ho" is every one's hot favourite and is played every hour on some random music channel/radio station daily. Popularity of "Tum Hi Ho" was such a phenomenon year back (when it released) that people had that song as ringtone & caller tunes. I am neither against this song nor do I hate it. In fact, I too love this song. I am even happy that at least with this song people came to know about Mithoon who IMO is still much underrated composer in present day Bollywood inspite of giving some chartbuster soundtracks (Bas Ek Pal, Aggar, Anwar, The Train). But the fact that hurts me is that many people still haven't discovered some underrated gems that came out in 2013.

So here is my list where I will talk about Top 10 Bollywood Soundtracks of 2013 - some known, some unknown & some you might have heard but missed it.

But before you proceed further a RULE you should follow regarding this article -

There is no RIGHT or WRONG in music. Your choices may differ from mine. It's about personal viewpoint & liking.

Composer of the Year - Sachin Jigar

Truly 2014 belonged to young & talented composing duo - Sachin Jigar. From composing for flop films like Jayantabhai Ki Luv Story, Issaq, Ramaiyya Vastavaiyya & I Me Aur Main to hit soundtracks of Shuddh Desi Romance, Go Goa Gone & ABCD - Any Body Can Dance they were consistent throughout the year. None of their soundtracks were boring or noisy & had popular yet genuinely wonderful music. From working in small films to big banners, they consolidated their place in Bollywood with magical soundtrack of Yash Raj Film's Shuddh Desi Romance.

Talented duo Sachin Jigar 

It's always difficult to select which soundtrack enters the top 10 list. Sometimes a soundtrack appeals to you initially but in a long run it doesn't while sometimes you hate a particular soundtrack but after watching that movie you start loving & listening to it.

Soundtracks that missed the Top 10 list -

Goliyon ki Raasleela Ram-Leela (Sanjay Leela Bhansali)
Special 26 (M M Kreem)
Matru ki Bijlee ka Mandola (Vishal Bhardwaj)
Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (Pritam)
3G (Mithoon)
Madras Cafe (Shantanu Moitra)

Top 10 Bollywood Soundtracks of 2013 -

10. David - Mikey McCleary, Prashant Pillai, BramFatura, Maati Baani, Remo Fernandes, Anirudh Ravichander, Modern Mafia & The Lightyears Explode

Even though David was not as impressive as Bejoy Nambiar's cult debut Shaitan (2011) but surely that man has some good sense of music & the way he incorporates them in his films is just brilliant. And probably it is only in his films that you get to listen a song from Indie rock band. Shaitan had a song by death metal band Bhayanak Maut while David offered a great platter of variety with some Indie names like BramFatura, Modern Mafia & The Lightyears Explode. Considering that David's story revolved around 3 time lines (London 1975, Mumbai 1999, Goa 2010) music too was created with a great detail referencing that era. One of the most underrated soundtracks of 2013.

My Pick - Ghum Huye, Mast Kalandar, Out of Control, Ya Hussain & Tore Matware Naina

9. Bhaag Milkha Bhaag - Shankar Ehsaan Loy

After lackluster music in 2011 & 2012 (barring Chittagong & ZNMD), SEL finally got their mojo back with impressive soundtrack of Bhaag Milkha Bhaag. It had some brilliant mix of genres from inspirational tracks to sufi love ballads & even a short "Gurbani" by Daler Mehndi. Soundtrack also saw an assured singing debut by Siddharth Mahadevan & as usual terrific lyrics by Prasoon Joshi.

My Pick - Zinda, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag (Rock Version), O Rangrez & Mere Yaar

8. Ek Thi Daayan - Vishal Bhardwaj

It rarely happens that Vishal Bhardwaj - Gulzar combo goes wrong. They have been giving us some great soundtracks since past 2 decades right since Maachis (1994). Ek Thi Daayan was one such short effective soundtrack that had Gulzar's poetry all over it. Being a horror film, VB made sure to have couple of spooky tracks in it. Also try to listen to extremely terrifying background score by Clinton Cerejo.

My Pick - Lautungi Main, Sapna re Sapna & Kaali Kaali

7. ABCD Any Body Can Dance - Sachin Jigar

They became immensely popular with their soundtrack for Remo Dsouza's debut F.A.L.T.U. (2011) & continued their success and popularity with Remo's second film - ABCD Any Body Can Dance. For a dance film what you need is an energetic & foot tapping soundtrack with fusion of various genres and that exactly is delivered by Sachin Jigar here. Though background score is equally fascinating.

My Pick - Duhaai, Bezubaan & Shambhu Sutaya

6. Nautanki Saala! - Mikey McCleary, Falak Shabbir, Rashid Khan, Ayushmann Khurrana & Rochak Kohli

Yet again New Zealander Mikey McCleary spins his magic here with rich magical score. His re-imagination of old classic numbers (Dhak Dhak & So Gaya Yeh Jahaan) were quirky while his original composition too had a fresh feel to it. Entire soundtrack was superbly arranged by Mikey even though he wasn't composer for certain songs & that's what complimented film's SoBo-ish look perfectly.

My Pick - Dil ki Toh Lag Gayi, Draamebaaz & Tu Hi Tu

New Zealander composer Mikey McCleary

5. Go Goa Gone - Sachin Jigar

After Ram Sampath's terrific soundtrack of Delhi Belly (2011), I rarely came across a soundtrack that had outrageously quirky lyrics in it. But Amitabh Bhattacharya is the same man who reinvented his Delhi Belly avatar here with crazy lyrics in trippy "Babaji ki Booti" & Anti Monday anthem "Khoon Choos Le". Sachin Jigar's uber cool music complimented Amitabh's lyrics really well. Also watch out for some amazing editing tricks in both the songs.

My Pick - Babaji ki Booti, Khoon Choos Le & Khushamdeed

4. Raanjhanaa - A R Rahman

No matter what A R Rahman soundtrack is always one of the most anticipated soundtracks of the year. Raanjhanaa was surely one of those soundtracks plus it had Irshad Kamil as lyricist teaming up with ARR after brilliant Rockstar. Rahman pleased us with wide range of genres starting from Folk Classical (Banarasiya, Ay Sakhi, Tum Tak & Raanjhanaa) to contemporary sounds in "Tu Mun Shudi", "Nazar Laaye" & "Aise Na Dekho" to use of aarti chants in "The Land of Shiva". Another great thing about this soundtrack was that Rahman used Shehnaai in almost all songs thus giving tribute to legendary Shehnaai player Ustad Bismillah Khan.

My Pick - Entire Soundtrack is great with wonderful shifts from one genre to another.

3. Kai Po Che - Amit Trivedi

I was fairly disappointed when I knew that this soundtrack by Amit had only 3 tracks. With Swanand Kirkire's fabulous lyrics & Amit's brilliant music made that disappointment disappear. Arshad Khan's melancholic esraj in "Maanjha" still haunts me & soon this short yet sweet soundtrack was on the repeat mode. Also listen to poignant background score by Hitesh Sonik which makers released online. You can listen to entire Original Motion Picture Soundtrack of Kai Po Che including songs & background score here.

My Pick - Amit Trivedi never ceases to amaze me.

2. Shuddh Desi Romance - Sachin Jigar

Shuddh Desi Romance was Sachin Jigar's big ticket to stardom with prestigious YRF producing it. Music had flashes of Rajasthani folk fusion with modern sounds (Jazz, Bossa Nova etc.) & insightful lyrics by Jaideep Sahni. Basically it was the choice of singers (Mohit, Benny, Sunidhi, Shalmali & Divya Kumar) that made this soundtrack a great listen. Sachin Jigar's best work till date.

My Pick - Songs are great no doubt but listen to beautifully orchestrated background scores.

1. Lootera - Amit Trivedi

And.... the Best Soundtrack of 2013 was Amit Trivedi's Lootera. Interestingly this was for the first time that Amit Trivedi collaborated with A R Rahman's regular Chennai String Orchestra. Listen to any song in the soundtrack and you can sense some amazing string sections. From pensive "Shikayatein" to Baul based "Monta Re" to SD Burman style "Sawaar Loon" everything was pitch perfect in this soundtrack. Amit Trivedi hit a great masterstroke here backed by some brilliant lyrics by Amitabh Bhattacharya.

"Kuch maangna baaki nahi, jitna mila kaafi hai".

My Pick - Every song is spectacular. If you still haven't heard it Do yourself a favour by listening to this poetic masterpiece.

Having read the entire list you may be surprised to see not even a single mention of Aashiqui 2 here except the opening paragraph. Frankly speaking Aashiqui 2 was just an average soundtrack which gained immense popularity just because of 2 tracks (Mithoon's Tum Hi Ho & Ankit Tiwari's Sunn Raha Hai Na Tu). Otherwise Jeet Gannguli's compositions were pretty decent & not that great. Having read this you may be infuriated & would be getting ready to type that how the hell did I missed Aashiqui 2 in the list but before you do that hold on.... & READ THE RULE mentioned in the beginning.

Like, share & comment about your Best Soundtracks of 2013 below. It would be glad to know what others think. :)

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Remembering 1952 - The Coming of Age for Hindi Music

So we will definitely talk about how 1951 was a better musical year than 1952, maybe some other day. But today we are here to appreciate 1952 for the year of musical gems, it was. India had been independent for 5 years already. And despite sounding donnish, there can't be a better year to start engulfing oneself into the magic of old Indian bollywood.

But before we get started, let me share the greatest thing on Internet first with the readers -
http://www.mohdrafi.com/

Yes, there is a complete website for Mohammad Rafi, and thats not even close to the most awesome thing this website has. It boasts of an unparallel feat of having a 24 hr Rafi channel. So if you had been searching for God all your life and didn't know which website to look at, here it is. 24 hr of Rafi and you have found God.

Period

1952 holds a special place in Indian history because of the first general elections held in India that year and how India as a country came out of shackles in many aspects. And Bollywood slowly became the pulse of the nation by then. One of the biggest happening that will change the way people had access to music would change dramatically with the beginning of Binaca geet mala on radio Ceylon. A quick trivia there: Binaca is a part of Dabur Group, and would become Cibaca later on. The show would also give India its first and the only superstar of radio - Mr Ameen Sayani. The show ran non stop on Radio Ceylon till 1988 after which it went over to Vividh Bharti and ran for 6 more years before ending in 1994. And if you aren't warmed up yet, then here is something that will start you up (like Cibaca and Binaca)

Now back to business, Hindi cinema kept buzzing with brilliance of Dev sahab, Dileep sahab and Raj Kapoor. But the year became notable for the new talent on the block, Bharat Bhushan. With Baiju Bawra and Anand Math, Bhushan had 2 brilliant inks to his name this year. Both were musical and cinematic masterpieces. Talat and Mukesh kept having a brilliant year as singers but it was slowly becoming obvious that the times were changing and Rafi, being the force of nature he was, was slowly taking over erverything by storm.

And in females, it was obvious in 1951 itself that there was nothing like Maa Saraswati but only Lata mangeshkar, who continued to have a fantastic year in 1952 as well.

It would be interesting to note the best films of the year. Aan, Baiju Bawra, Daag, Jaal, Anhonee, Sangdil and Aandhiyan. Among music composers Naushad had come into his own. With the seminal work in Dulari with Rafi - Suhani raat dhal chuki, the song which some people mistook as the national anthem of Trinidad & Tobago, it was so popular; he was back again and the duo created magic in Baiju Bawra. Each song of the film is a classic and continued to inspire generations of composers and singers. Each song from this soundtrack is a masterpiece starting from the devotional Man Tadpat Hari darshan ko and O Duniya Ke Rakhwale to the poignant Tu Ganga Ki Mauj. It is said that a Hindu from Nepal came to Mumbai afer hearing 'man tadpat hari darshan' and was dumbfounded to know that it was sung by a muslim (Rafi sahab). He literally fell onto his foot and worshipped him like Hari.

Aan was the other masterpiece of Naushad this year and is considered an epic film in its entirety with Dileep kumar and Nadira giving one of the best performances on-screen. Each song of the movie would come across as a claasic with Maan Mere Ehsaan, Lagi Tanman Mein, Tujhe Kho Diya Humne Paa Leneke Baad being the popular numbers, the stand out was Dil Mein Chhupa Ke Pyar Ka Toofan which has Rafi in his melodious best

While Rafi and Naushad were busy in their own league, Talat sahab was having his best year as well. Claimed by many as the replacement of Saigal, Talat was destined to greatness had Rafi storm not invaded the Bollywood planet. But having said that, his smooth silk voice was at its best in 1952. He had so many brilliant songs this year that its hard to figure out some of  the better ones, but Main Dil Hoon Ek Armaan Bhara (Anhonee), Tum Ko Fursat Ho (Bewafa, AR Quereshi aka Allah Rakha Khan or father of Tabla maestro Zakir Hussain, the movie had Ashok Kumar and Raj Kapoor in their only screen appearance together), Aye Mere Dil Kahin ( Daag, Shankar Jaikishen), Mohabbat Mein Kashish Hogi (Khoobsurat, Madan Mohan) and the entire soundtrack of C Ramchandra's Parchhayaian with songs like Woh Zalim Pyar Kya Jaane and Kya Dil Ka Lagana Bhool Gaye

SD burman and OP Nayyar had a silent year by their general standards. But someone who did get out if shadows was Hemant da. Jaal and Anand Math turned out to be epitomes of harmonic music, bringing out the essence of Rabindro sangeet. He also got prominence for the toxicating vocals in 'Ye raat ye chandni fir kahan'. SJ also had a silent year, probably the only silent year in the 50s with their prominent creation being Daag.

And now to the singer who would be the only one to out sing Rafi sahab in the bigger scheme of things.  Lata sang more than 100 songs again as she did in 1951.Khelo Rang hamare sang with Shamshad Begum (Aan), all ongs of Nirmohi with Madan Mohan (A relationship that will not end even with the latter dying and lata coming back out of retirement to sing in Veer Zara for him). The total list of Lata songs can be found here, as it would be wrong to pick some out of these gems in 1952 - http://cineplot.com/music/lata-mangeshkars-song-list-1952/

So all in all a special year for hindi music and something that generations will keep listening to. And before we part, here's my fav song of the year.

P.S. Kishore da was active too this year but the extent was still lower, would love to hear what other hindi music fans can add here

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Remembering the Kapoor Khandan through some images

Bollywood is more than 100 years old now and the journey has been breathtaking. To look back and feel proud of this spectacle is the 'haq' of every Indian. But what hasn't been away from Bollywood is the Kapoor family or the Kapoor Khandan as we call it with love. Starting with Prithvi raj Kapoor in the first ever Bollywood talkie - Alam Ara to the latest Besharam, the bollywood is laden with imprints of this glorious family that gave so much to us

So here's to them, reflecting back through some images

The family tree of Raj Kapoor

PRITHVI RAJ KAPOOR

source: rediff

One of the old classics, Shafi Inaamdar can be seen in the background

One of the few pics where PRK was there with all his sons.

 This is a pic that defined Bollywood 

The brightest star to come out from the Khandan. The dazzling Raj Kapoor

Shashi Kapoor married English Actress Jennifer Kendal

 while both were pursuing their passion for theater

As much as he is known for his 'junglee' image, the ageing Shammi Kapoor

 looked as majestic as ever (Baratiyon ka swagat Pan Parag se hi hua)

This pic resulted in Bollywood's 2 hottest divas over the period of time

And that's what they look like

The latest star to emerge out of the galaxy of extremely talented family

One of the latest congregations in Toronto IIFA

Kapoor's remain etched in the memories of the fans and will do so for years to come. Time to sit back and admire what they brought to the plate for the whole industry, the whole country. The sound of Mera Joota hai Japani slowly fades in the background, slowly dissolving to the tunes of Balam Pichkari. Times have changed but the legacy goes on

And here is a bonus pic. A Rare pic of the Khandan where even Karan Kapoor was present (remember Loha?)

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10 most redundant dialogues in bollywood

The backstory, the bechari maa, the apathetic society, the difficult childhood of the hero, his having to steal medicine for a sick family member, the unruly bad man, the tragedy, the struggles of the hero, the entry of the heroine, the vengeance of the hero for our villain, oh there’s the heroine again, a song or two on hilltops and around the trees, a couple of fight scenes, the funny sidekick, the funny sidekick’s funny sidekick, the villain’s reign of 20 odd years being savaged by the return of the hero, the villain’s anger, another fight scene, oh the heroine again, the respected elder’s advice, the final fight scene, hero, heroine, true love. the end.

There was a lot going on in the movies back in the day. The story had everything from rib tickling comedy to some serious melodrama. And when I say serious I mean gut wrenching, heart clenching, tears-filling-up-the-oceans serious. Now there has to be some really heavy word play going on in the story to balance it all and churn out more than 800 movies a year. That's right. Over Eight friggin' hundred.

But bollywood has never disappointed in the dialogue department. There has never been a lack of serious stuff. Incredible performances by legendary actors that have inspired generations of film makers and actors. But that’s a story for another day. Today we talk about the really cheesy, typical bollywood masala dialogues that have been used over and over again. And again. And again. And yet strangely, they are always relevant, always fit the story and can be spoken by just about anyone in the movie. In fact, if you just collected all these dialogues, you wouldn't need much else to come up with a movie of your own.

So here we go:

1. Kaan khol ke sun lo

You know, as opposed to when you are listening kaan band karke. Just open your goddamn ears, well open them, OPEN THEM AND FUCKING LISTEN WILL YA?????!!! Well that is the basic sentiment behind this line.  

2. Inko dawa se zyada dua ki zaroorat hai

Now if the line doesn’t scare you already, let me take the pleasure of pointing out that it was usually the doctors who said this. Yes the damn doctors who were clearly not very good at their jobs and insisted every single time that ab sab kuchh upar wale ke haath me hai.

3. Kya isi din ke liye tumhe paal pos ke bada kiya tha

Melodrama we survived upon. Still do. But this line. God this line. It has been said by so many people in so many movies, there was clearly some miscommunication going on coz no one ever knew the answer to this question. pehle hi bata dete kyun paal pos kar bada kar rahe ho to baad me confusion nahi hoti. trial and error se thodi na pata chalega. picture after picture they tried finding out ki aakhir kyun paal pos ke bada kiya but alas…..!!

4. Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chhod do

I can’t top what Shakti Kapoor had to say in reply to this. Bhagwan ke liye tumhe chhod doon toh main kya karoon? I mean come on, what would he do?

5. Bhagwan maine aaj tak tumse kuchh nahi maanga

It is pretty clear by now that god had a significant role to play in every one of them films. He used to probably watch them with the same excitement as us and then suddenly hear his name and go, “Wait, I am supposed to do something now? Damn can’t a guy catch a break!” And then of course get to work and come up with miracles and shit.

6. Kanoon ke haath lambe hote hain

Well that should come in handy since we all know that kanoon andha hota hai. Tough times for kanoon in bollywood. It was abused by every policeman. Kanoon ko apne haath me mat lo. Apne aap ko kanoon ke hawale kar do. Man so much confusion. And after everything they would just say ye toh hamara farz tha and walk away. No credit whatsoever for kanoon.

7. Mera aashirwad tumhare saath hai beta, tumhe kuchh nahi hoga

Well given how we can’t explain the hero beating the shit out 50 oversized, trained, badass goons with any form of logic or reason, we might as well go the aashirwad route. Yep, I have made my peace with it.

8.  Main tumhara ye ehsaan zindagi bhar nahi bhoolunga

This to a person the hero is never going to meet again in his life. Oh wait. He is in the next scene. In the villain’s kabza no less. And he needs a favor. Who will return the favor? The hero of course. See movies teach us stuff. A good deed never goes unpaid. Unless you are Nirupa Roy. All your deeds will go unpaid in that case. Sorry.

9. Main tumhare bachhe ki maa banne wali hoon

This was almost always a bad news. Followed by either the girl jumping into a river or in front of a train or bumping into the hero who would then help her go back to the douchebag “jisne ek maasoom ladki ka fayda uthaya tha.” Damn that is some heavy shit.

10. Ab hum kisi ko mooh dikhane layak nahi rahe

You know the story. Girl goes to her family. Family kicks her out. She then proceeds to the river or the train, whichever involves a lot of walking in the backdrop of sad music, or bumps into the hero who then helps her go back to the douchebag who…………….

Oh redundant, you say? Welcome to Bollywood.

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14 Most Anticipated Indian Films yet to come in 2014

So first 2 months of 2014 have passed & we had some amazing films to our company like Dedh Ishqiya, Miss Lovely, Highway & Kamal Swaroop’s cult classic Om Dar-B-Dar. We even had nausea inducing & cringe worthy masala entertainers like Yaariyaan, Jai Ho & Gunday to counteract that. With Queen getting immense critical acclaim from every front, surely 2014 looks like a great year & there is more yet to come. There are many such films yet to release in coming months of 2014 that have managed to create curiosity or buzz for them with their unique theme or star cast. So here’s a list of 14 Most Anticipated Indian Films yet to come in 2014 -

14. Peddlers
Director – Vasan Bala
Cast – Gulshan Deviah, Nimrat Kaur, Siddharth Menon & Kriti Malhotra

Vasan Bala’s debut was showcased at Cannes in 2012 but struggled to get theatrical release as no distributors wanted to invest in this tale of drugs, lust & Bombay’s portrayal as a ghost city.

13. NH 10
Director – Navdeep Singh
Cast – Anushka Sharma & Neil Bhoopalam

After stellar debut in Manorama Six Feet Under (2006), Navdeep Singh faced disappointment when his most ambitious project Rock The Shaadi – A Big Fat Punjabi Wedding meets zombie apocalypse starring Abhay Deol & Genelia D’souza was shelved. Finally he is filming his next which is a horror thriller about a road trip gone wrong. Anushka has co-produced this with Anurag Kashyap.

12. Monsoon Shootout
Director – Amit Kumar
Cast – Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Vijay Verma, Tanishtha Chatterjee & Neeraj Kabi

Amit Kumar’s Monsoon Shootout too was screened at Cannes 2013 & received extremely positive reviews. It narrates a story of a cop struggling to make a decision of killing a notorious gangster in the heavy rains of Mumbai.

11. Filmistaan
Director – Nitin Kakkar
Cast – Sharib Hashmi & Kumud Mishra

After impressing critics over various International film festivals & winning National Award for Best Feature Film in Hindi (2012), Nitin Kakkar’s Filmistaan finally gets a theatrical release. It is a satirical story of bollywood buff & wannabe actor getting abducted by an Islamic terrorist group while shooting for film in desert areas of Rajasthan.

10. Finding Fanny Fernandes
Director – Homi Adajania
Cast – Deepika Padukone, Naseeruddin Shah, Dimple Kapadia, Arjun Kapoor & Pankaj Kapur

After his mind blowing neo-noir debut Being Cyrus (2005), Homi disappointed with his sappy romance in Cocktail (2012). But with a dysfunctional Goan family on a road trip, Homi is back in action with this quirky film. Produced by Saif Ali Khan & that’s what you call an outstanding star cast. DP is on a roll!!!

9. City Lights
Director – Hansal Mehta
Cast – Rajkumar Rao, Patralekha & Geetanjali Thapa

Official remake of Oscar nominated British film Metro Manila (2013), City Lights marks second collaboration between Hansal Mehta & Rajkumar Rao who gave one of the finest biopic in Indian cinema, Shahid (2013). Produced by Mahesh Bhatt.

8. Katiyabaaz (Powerless)
Director – Deepti Kakkar & Fahad Mustafa
Cast – Real people

After commercial success of extremely hilarious satire Supermen Of Malegaon (2012), comedy-documentaries are slowly but gradually gaining their foothold in Bollywood. Based on long power cuts in Kanpur, Katiyabaaz traces the story of a man who supplies illegal electricity while local government’s angst and search for him. Best part of this documentary is that it offers stories from both perspectives. Music by Indian Ocean.

7. Ugly

Director – Anurag Kashyap
Cast – Ronit Roy, Vineet Kumar, Tejaswini Kolhapure, Rahul Bhatt & Siddhant Kapoor

The biggest disappointment of 2013 was no release of Anurag Kashyap’s dark thriller Ugly. A simple child kidnapping gets more complex as true & ugly faces of people are revealed. Hope Censor Board understands and gets away with those anti-smoking watermarks. And boy! Ronit Roy looks like a badass!!

6. Haider

Director – Vishal Bhardwaj
Cast – Shahid Kapur, Irrfan, Kay Kay Menon, Tabu & Shraddha Kapoor

VB completes his trilogy of Shakespeare adaption by adapting his Hamlet into Haider set in ‘90s Kashmir. Hope this film brings back the hero Shahid Kapur actually was (Kaminey, Jab We Met). Also it marks VB’s collaboration with his hit Maqbool pair – Irrfan & Tabu. Gulzar’s lyrics & VB’s music. Simply waiting.

5. Tumbaad
Director – Rahi Anil Barve
Cast – Sohum Shah

Anand Gandhi after tasting critical & commercial success with Ship Of Theseus is back but this time as a producer. With almost same crew as that of SOT (Pankaj Kumar as DOP & Sohum Shah in lead) Tumbaad is a period horror thriller set in pre & post independence era of Pune. For me the genre of Period Horror Thriller itself is so luring. Plus Rahi Anil Barve made an ultra dark disturbing B&W short film Maanjha which was praised by many including Danny Boyle for its unsettling theme.

4. Detective Byomkesh Bakshy
Director – Dibakar Banerjee
Cast – Sushant Singh Rajput, Anand Tiwari & Sohum Shah

Sharadindu Bandyopadhyay’s famous Bengali detective Byomkesh Bakshi is set to be revived in Bollywood by Dibakar Banerjee. Being filmed as a series, Detective Byomkesh Bakshy (first part in so-called series) will showcase young 20-something Byomkesh (Sushant Singh Rajput) solving crimes in 1940 Calcutta with his trusted assistant Ajit (Anand Tiwari). Very much similar to Sherlock Holmes series, movie will also have a super intelligent villain trying to wage war in British occupied India. Looks damn promising and yes it is being co-produced by YRF.

3. P.K.
Director – Rajkumar Hirani
Cast – Aamir Khan, Anushka Sharma, Sushant Singh Rajput, Boman Irani & Sanjay Dutt

A Rajkumar Hirani film is just not a film it is a subject for any budding filmmaker to understand how films are made, how characters are written, how editing is done & how humour is mixed superbly with narrative. Hirani has himself created a genre for himself with feel good yet intellectual films like Munnabhai Series & 3 Idiots. Teaming up yet again with Aamir Khan, Hirani’s P.K. is a religious satire on self styled god men in our country co-written by superbly talented Abhijat Joshi. Do you still need a reason to watch this one?

2. Bombay Velvet
Director – Anurag Kashyap
Cast – Ranbir Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Karan Johar, Kay Kay Menon & Raveena Tandon

Based on Gyan Prakash’s book Mumbai Fables, Bombay Velvet is a neo-noir drama thriller set in ‘50s & ‘60s Bombay showcasing how Bombay transformed into a metropolis. The most interesting thing is that Ranbir Kapoor plays Street Boxer; Anushka & Raveena play Jazz singers while Karan Johar plays an egoistic Parsi Businessman (main antagonist). Also Kashyap reunites with his Dev.D team – Amit Trivedi (Music), Amitabh Bhattacharya (Lyrics) & Rajeev Ravi (DOP). Christmas 2014 will be exciting to wait for.

1. Qissa – The Tale of a Lonely Ghost
Director – Anup Singh
Cast – Irrfan, Tisca Chopra, Tillotama Shome & Rasika Duggal

Undoubtedly the most awaited film of the year is Anup Singh’s Qissa set in 1947 partitioned Punjab. It is a story of a man who raises his youngest daughter as a son. Irrfan’s power packed performance, dark theme of confused sexuality, partition, political turmoil & women oppression are reason enough to watch this Punjabi-hindi film. This film was awarded with Netpac Award for best Asian film at Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF).

Hope you liked the list. Feel free to comment about your most awaited/anticipated film yet to release in 2014.

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