7 most absurd bollywood songs of all times

Bollywood is an industry which relies geavily upon the success of its music to ultimately derive the success of the films. From time immemorial, music has pretty much been the soul of Bollywood and has gems that make it impossible to even imagine a world of films without songs. Hollywood may have something to say about that, but that's the beauty of Indian cinema. So having said that, it might be close to impossible to do any top 10 list related to music, or in case of best song even a top 100 might seem like unachievable one. However what we can do is probably try and look back at some of the songs which stood out for sheer absurdity of their lyrics, picturization and music.

I will not try to typecast the double meaning songs from Dalaal (Kabootar atariya pe chadhta hi hai) or Choli ke Peeche kya hai (Common teenager knowledge). Not that these songs were not weird but because these cult classics had one or the other way to create a mass appeal (and more because I like these songs, so yahan mai wahi daloonga jo mujhe trash lagta hai, aapko usse kya)

And more or less I am totally going to ignore the contemporary bollywood in which the overall music is absurd. So picking ut some songs like Mohabbat hai Mirchi or Chiggie Wiggie will be hurting the sentiments of the complete industry (no privilege to too much trashy compared to very trashy)

zara zara touch me na, pliss nice sowng

And no popular Govinda songs. Period. They are all good. Whether it is mai tujhko bhaga laya hoon tere ghar se, tere baap ke darr se or Sarkai lo Khatiya jada lage.

A list of those songs was already covered by Filmistani before

aa aa ee, oo oo oo. oo oo oohhhhh

So here's my personal top 10 for the songs (love them or hate them) who I believe are weird/absurd or maybe even trash

1. Garam Garam Chai
There was a movie in 1995 called dance Party (nevermind if you havent heard of it, probably no one ever heard of it. Not even the cast and crew of the fil included) which featured a gem from the God of Gems - baba Sehgal

This is how the song goes

up ke bihar ke mere friend khas friends

chhuk chhuk gaadi mein baithe

raat ke baje the sade gyarah mujhe uhu hu hu sardi lagi

maine bola yaar kunal mujhe de de ek shol

bola aane de pareli station lenge ek samaj gaya

no no no no no

chahiye na koi mujhe aisi waisi dish kash mil jaati mujhe

garam garam chai garam garam chai

The video isn't bad either. Just look at Shakti kapoor #jussayin

2. Din me leti hai, Raat me leti hai
So this one did not feature in the previous cover on double meaning one but it deserves a special mention just for the sheer audacity of the crew which created this song. From the movie Amanat (1994), the song has Kumar Sanu, Ila Arun and Alka Yagnik together creating this magical experience. And who better than Bappi da to create the tunes (with his previous accolades of Dalal and Disco era). The song goes like this

din me leti hai raat me leti hai

subah ko leti hai sham ko leti hai

bas me leti hai bas bas, lokal me leti hai

thiatar me leti hai hotel me leti hai

chhat pe leti hai, kamre me leti hai

bistar me leti hai, khule aam

let ke leti hai, baith ke leti hai

3. Ek rasgulla kahin fat gaya re
Izzatdar (1990) is a remarkable film for so many reasons. Particularly the last scene featuring Dileep sahab and Govinda where Yusuf fights the gangster using a chapati. Yes, you heard it right, a fuckin Chapati. Never underestimate the power of 'Shakti Bhog' . For full pleasure, directly fo to 3:40 on the video

Is bandook me kitni roti hai re? I mean Goli

But that was still not the highest point in the film. It reaches the pinnacle with the song

sun o mister o mister 

sun o mister o mister mister o mister (WTF)

ek rasgulla kahi fat gaya re re baba re

fat ke jalebi se lipat gaya re

4. Maalan tere baag me narangi latke
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that mere presence of Shakti Kapoor in a video sometimes can disgust viewers enough to have a fit. So 'nandu sabka bandu' is not always a pretty sight. But when the backdrop of the movie is a Prabhuji one man show, then the significance of a trashy song always reaches new heights. Inspired from a Rajasthani folk song of the same name, this was a classic in its time and somehow not available on youtube anymore in its original format. But the intent of the song was appalingly apparent.

"Malan tara baag mein nazuk nazuk daal par narangi latke” "Teri narangi sari duniya se hatke"

the original folk is somehow available

5. You are my chicken fry
Bappi da was always known for pulling the rabbit out of the hat but never before had he done the magic like the Chicken Fry. I mean how often would you think of comparing your loved one to a chicken dish. No objectification there, pure poetry. Culinary Poetry at its best. The lyrics of the song go like this

You are my chicken fry

You are my fish fry

Kabhi na kehna kudiye bye bye bye

You are my samosa

You are my masala dosa

Main na kahungi mundiya bye bye bye

This song also got lost in the sands of time and no original video is available for the song, but the lyrics and the music would never go away and will remain forever etched in our memories. The lyrics were 

6. Doodh ban jaoongi, malai ban jaoongi
Bollywood's fascination with kitchen is always apparent. Songs satisfying the apetite in literal sense. This cult song from 1995 film Sarhad, objectifies women differently. Doodh, sharab, kebab, machhi. Full 5 course meal. Sung by no less than Asha Bhosle, this one will remain etched in trashy song lovers mind forever

The video of the song is appropriate as well. Have a look

7. Ladki kaise fansayi jati hai (Kishor Kumar)
The list will end with another legend snging one of the classic songs for Ramsay brothers. Kishor da took the song to another level with his efferevescent style. Samri (1985) is considered one of Ramsay brothers finest and not for nothing. Bappi Da with his heart throbbing music, add to that the brilliant Kishore da and what comes out is this

Filmed on a certain Rajan Sippy, who never achieved the same fame as Puneet Issar or Hemant Birje

Not to mention the movie itself, the first 3D horror film in India. Here's a look at its trailer. 

Hope the list is apetising enough. Let us know if you agree or have something to add to the list

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5 Biopics that deserves to be told

Despite having celebrated 100 years of Indian Cinema, we are yet to grow up as an industry to be
looked up to. For the record, we make the highest number of movies in the entire world, but if we scrutinize the quality of our movies with those of our contemporaries, we fail.

The reason for this is the lack of effort put in on the script or say screenplay for that matter. All mainstream Hindi movies can broadly be classified into

a) Love Story, where there will be inequality (caste, creed, religion) between hero and the heroine and the whole theatrics.
b) Revenge Story, where the parents of the hero will be killed by the villain and the hero will search for him for 3 epic hours and despite meeting villain every 15-20 minutes, it will only to be disclosed in the climax that he was the penultimate guy.
c) Honest-Person-Corrupt-Society, where the actor is the most honest person of the world and everyone else is corrupt (No, we are not talking about Arvind Kejriwal[Politics is the current mood of the nation, couldn’t help bring it here :P]) and the actor will fight till the end to change the system.

If one looks at the west, some of the awe-inspiring movies are either based on novels or some real person. Hindi Cinema has also tried to look beyond the traditional story subjects and movies like Vicky Donor, Paan Singh Tomar, Kahaani, Gangs of Wasseypur are to name a few. Biopics like Bhaag Milkha Bhaag brought real life story into contention but no takers for recently released Manjunath brought out the fact that things have been better since the past decade but we have still a long way to go.

Today, we at Filmistani, try to give our filmmakers some individuals on whom if a movie is made, will be out of the box and also inspire the cine-goers.

#5: Kalpana Chawla: Wouldn’t the story of a girl child from Haryana who managed to break into the ranks in NASA, and the tragic disaster that followed, would make it great on the celluloid.

I feel goose bumps by her famous quote “When you look at the stars and the galaxy, you feel that you are not just from any particular piece of land, but from the solar system." I am sure that it can inspire whole lot of generation to be another Kalpana Chawla and also it can be India’s answer to Gravity.

#4: Kishore Kumar: While there is no doubt on how famous the singer is, there are many facets of him, which are still unknown to us.

For example, He apparently made Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi, hoping it would fail commercially. He wanted to show losses in his income, and thus avoid paying a huge income tax to the authorities. So he made it, and waited eagerly for it to collapse. However, it surprisingly went on to become box-office success. He was so disgusted with this that he gave all its rights to his secretary. He is said to have been paranoid about not being paid. I am sure that if a biopic is made on his life, it will be both entertaining and inspiring.

#3: Neerja Bhanot: For starters, who don’t know her, let me give some brief. She was a flight attendant for Pan Am, based in Mumbai, India, and was murdered while saving passengers from terrorists on board the hijacked Pan Am Flight 73 in 1986.

Posthumously, she became the youngest recipient of India's highest civilian award for bravery, the Ashok Chakra. Although this incident has been depicted in HindI Movies like “Ye Dil Aashiqana” and “Zameen” but none of them has touched upon her story (as her marriage turned sour following dowry pressure) which deserves to be told on Big Screen. I am sure it can inspire many people.

#2: Yuvraj Singh: Oh Boy, his life is a big story. His parents divorced and his mother raised him. When he won the National U-14 Roller Skating Championship, his father threw away the medal and told him to forget skating and concentrate on cricket.

Having an illustrious career with 2 world cup victories to his credit, he was diagnosed with a cancerous tumor in his left lung, he went for a treatment and he fought back bravely. His story will surely inspire millions.

#1: Sanjay Gandhi: He was the elder son of Indira Gandhi and before his demise in 1980; he made his mark in Indian Politics. Maruti Udyog, today India's premier automobile manufacturing corporation, was founded by Sanjay Gandhi, but the company did not produce any vehicles during his lifetime.

More so, he was criticized because of the test model. It was said that during the Emergency he virtually ran India along with his friends. It was also quipped that Sanjay Gandhi had total control over his mother and that the government was run by the PMH (Prime Minister House) rather than the PMO (Prime Minister Office). Such was his aura that some theory suggests that his mother apparently got him killed in a plane crash. He initiated a widespread compulsory sterilization program to limit population growth. He escaped an assassination attempt in 1977. Making a movie on Sanjay Gandhi would be tough given all the controversies he has been associated with. As Mr. Anurag Kashyap very famously said in one of his interviews that you can make movies in India on every subject except Politics, it looks like there will be no takers to this story in the near future.

P.S. We have not suggested so as to who will play these roles because there is no formula when it comes to portray any real life character. I mean, who would have thought that Farhan Akhtar will portray Milkha Singh so beautifully. A very classic example would be Heath Ledger. The whole batman fan community (including me :P) were upset when Nolan decide Ledger to cast as Joker. Rest is History.

Hope you like this article. Please leave your comment/feedback in the space below.

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