5 Living Indians Who Deserve A Film On Their Lives

We have previously talked about biopics, about how we do not need to look at other shores for inspiration when our history is full of people with rich and interesting lives. However, it is not just the past that offers us tales, movies on living persons have been in fact regularly made in the west, (The Social Network, Ali, W, Pirates of the Silicon Valley) but in India making a film on someone who is still alive (or in Chacha Nehru's case, someone whose political legacy is huge) is a tricky issue. Yet, we believe that films made on 5 such people (for a start) would translate into good watchable cinema. Here's the list in no particular order

5. G R Khairnar

If you are not aware of who he is, then his photograph would make you think that his moniker 'The Demolition Man' doesn't suit him. And that is why it is very important for you to know who he is, and his contribution to modern India.

He is a Crime-Fighter who took on corruption almost single-handedly without needing to either fire or even wield a gun. Starting off as a clerk in the BMC he moved on to become a ward officer, and there he found gross irregularities in a few constructions in Mumbai. Not one to pass on this as 'Chalta Hai, Kuchh Nahi Ho Sakta' he proceeded to demolish the illegal building, which incidentally belonged to the son of the then chief minister of the state. He was promoted (by a rare show of Good sense by the Government) to the post of Deputy Commissioner. And this gave him more freedom to tackle corruption as well as the Mafia.

In a city that was at that time said to be literally run by Mr D, this great man did not shy away from taking a hammer at the D companies' buildings, while actively confronting Sharad Pawar. In a bid to protect itself (and perhaps on a diktat by Mr D) the government suspended him on charges of insubordination in 1994, but because of his indefatigable spirit he challenged his suspension, which our smooth and efficient legal system took only 6 years to overturn. In this period he penned his autobiography (thus providing a good source material for a possible film) and joined various social movements.

Once his post and full honour were given back to him in 2000, he went back to what he did best, the demolition of illegal buildings.

'You don't mess with The Demolition Man'

The Actor Best Suited to Play Him

and while we are on the subject of Mumbai Mafia and Corruption

4 Rakesh Maria

Also known as Super Cop

There's a Police Officer called Ajay Lal in Suketu Mehta's non-fiction book 'Maximum City' who is a thinly veiled representation of Rakesh Maria, and the book offers a deep insight into the mind of one of India's most enigmatic Policemen, whose real life exploits make 'Dabang-esque' stunts seem childish.

There actually is a movie based on a part of his life, you see he was the main investigating officer who cracked the 1993 bomb-blast cases. But then, there is a lot more in this man's means and methods that can be explored in a movie.

He successfully solved the 1993 tragedy, and when the connection between politicians and the mafia started becoming apparent, he was shifted from his post. He did not let this transfer get him down, and when terrorists struck mumbai again in 2003, he was brought back to take charge. He brought the criminals to justice.

It is not just the high profile incidents that he has handled, it is in particular his way of interrogation that makes him who he is. He seldom resorts to physical violence to torture, but what he does is equally dangerous and perhaps more effective. He goes inside the mind of the criminal and breaks down their defenses, even if it means using methods that go beyond normal.

He prides himself in not being corrupt, although off late he has been embroiled in a controversy that questions his patriotism, only the future can tell whether he is as clean as he is effective, but one thing is for sure, he is a hero that the country needs.

The Actor Best Suited to Play Him

All he needs is to continue where he left off in Black Friday

Moving on from crime, let us take a look at a Hero who plays a Sport which's state in India has always been quite mercurial (and we are not talking about cricket here)

3. Dhanraj Pillai

The story of any hero can be simply said to have three parts - The Rise, The Tragedy and The Redemption.

Dhanraj Pillai, perhaps one of the biggest names in our country attached to his sport, has seen in some measure, all three parts.

He was part of the Indian hockey team for a span of a decade and a half, and he played during a time when the national team was finding it hard to match a time when India was the best in the world. Mixed with the apathy of the administration (headed by the strange Mr KPS) and lack of facilities (the delay in the introduction of astro-turf in India) no player could have been in a worse time to represent his country.

And yet, Dhanraj played the best he could. He led India to two famous cup victories (Asian Games 1998 and Asia Cup 2003) and many near-misses. He was rewarded for the Asia Cup victory with a 'rest' from his side. He had numerous run-ins with the strange hockey academy and bad coaches, which proved unfavourable for him during various times in his career.

The biggest tragedy for this hero came in his final olympic match where after an already dismal performance by the team, he was put on the field for only 5 minutes.

But then, redemption is still in store for Dhanraj (with the forthcoming olympics) as he is the manager of the national team, and he is also a member of the IHF, a committee formed after the long overdue removal of Mr KPS.

Plus, he looks cooler

The Actor Best Suited to Play Him

2. Atal Bihari Vajpayee

Atal ji might not be a Hero, and it would be a stretch to call him the best PM our doomed country has ever had, but he is a good man, and he was the last Statesman in Indian politics. He was at times called many things, a man surrounded by evil folk, even a mask, but his staunchest rivals too desisted from attacking him personally.

And he is a self proclaimed film-buff, he would be amused at the idea of a movie being made on his life. There are many elements of his life that made for a great story, he followed in the steps of Shyama Prasad Mukherjee and Deen Dayal Upadhyay, and was a major figure of the opposition when it was impossible to even think of opposing the Congress.

He was jailed during the emergency, and post it, he heeded the call of JP and merged his party with the Janta Party. Although the Morarji Desai government didn't survive, Atal ji made his mark as the foreign minister. 

When he became the Prime minister for the first and second time, it was marked by hard drama, backstabbing by allies, strangle politik and uncertainity. However, when he finally came to power in 1999, the five years that followed (although marred by various bleak spots) were a period of economic growth and reforms, something the next ten years of Congress have not been able to match.

Atal ji was also a man of quick wit and humour, he was an excellent orator, in contrast to our mild and silent current Puppet Minister.

He may or may not have been the right man in the wrong place, but this poet-politician was the last tie that held together the BJP, a party that has gone in self-destruct mode ever since he has retired from active politics. For better or worse, he deserves to be immortalized on film reel.

The Actor Best Suited to Play Him

1. Gulzar

His contribution to Indian cinema, art, literature has been immense. A writer/director with an immaculate eye for detail, he may not have made the highest grossing movies of all time, but he has made films that are in the true sense of the word different (and of course he fostered a certain Vishal Bharadwaj)

Plus, there are his lyrics. Strange, beautiful, weird, memorable. Even today, almost five decades after his entry into cinema he can write masterful lines using extremely simple words (Dil to bachcha hai ji, Meri aarzoo kaminee, Darrrling). But it's not his present that I am talking about. It is his past, and how he has enriched our lives, that makes for a story to be put up their on screen.

He adapted famous works of literature for the Indian film industry, made films that were about human relationships as well as about politics and the plight of the common man caught in the cross-fire of violence, and later with the advent of television he did his part in preserving the legacy of Mirza Ghalib.

And he had a love story with Rakhee, which is also a tale of unrequited love.

Gulzar sa'ab is still pretty much active in films, writing songs the way only he can, twisting words, metaphors, feelings and yet making all his lyrics memorable. 

The Actor Best Suited to Play Him

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4 Movies Aamir Khan Wouldn't Want You To Watch

We all know of Aamir Khan as India's present King of TV as well as for being Mister Perfectionist, who chooses his films more selectively than our Government chooses our President. However, being human, he too has made his share of So-Bad films that we as kids in the early 90s were subject to. Looking back, even Aamir wouldn't want to watch these films again

4. Daulat Ki Jung

It could easily be a Photo-Shopped poster of Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak

A few years before this atrocity on celluloid was made there was a film affectionately called QSQT, where a young Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla played lovers whose families oppose their match. In a stroke of genius, a gentleman named Jalil Ahmad decided to produce another movie with the same premise

They didn't even bother to change much of the dialogue

And because the writer of the film thought that he needed to up-the-level from a College Romance, he added a twist (not) worthy of Indy Jones in the film.

You see, the main trait of Aamir Khan's character in the film is that he has a photographic memory, and in a totally random event of escaping crooks (while running from the wrath of their families) the couple come across a treasure map, no less. And Aamir Khan memorizes it before eating it up.

What follows is a typical early 90s mad-cap adventure involving cannibals and gangsters which gets resolved by several strokes of good luck.

Looking back, this actually was a pretty awesome film.

3. Awwal Number


For no fault of mine, I loved this film. It had CRICKET! A match in which Australia lost, and a passing reference to Sunny Gavaskar too. Released almost a decade before Lagaan, it was a film produced, directed, acted and watched by a sadly over the hill Dev sa'ab

It also had Aditya Pancholi playing his rightful role as a villain, a heroine who tried VERY hard to be sexy

The word Gratuitous comes to mind, but after all this is a Dev Anand Film

and a song that lingers better than the movie has ever hope of doing

But nothing could prevent this movie from sucking. The main plot was about how a righteous inspector (who in real life was well past retirement age) prevents a group of Terrorists from blasting a bomb planted in the middle of a cricket pitch, along with an angle of betting on cricket and an errant ex-cricketer turned Bad-guy (like Vinod Kambli). Aamir Khan featured in a weird romantic lead as a cricketer whose mantra of success involved listening to the heroine's awful voice on a walk-man.

I have tried very hard to find something right with this film, and only the song above comes to mind.

2. Mela


This might also be the last commercially unsuccessful movie that Aamir Khan starred in, and it sucked so bad that even the generous cleavage display by Twinkle Khanna couldn't save it (although Mrs Akki's cleavage hasn't really had any hit films ever)

Also it starred 'The Loser Brother'

Many said that Aamir Khan made this movie with the purpose of paying tribute to the old classic 'Caravan' starring Jeetendra, and also with the hope of making some sort of a film career for his brother Faisal (not to be confused with the cartoonist), but the directionless story and bad acting, aided with the fact that the movie was released at the turn of the century (which necessitated an unnecessary reference to the year 2000) all worked together to screw anyone (like me) who dared to watch this film, lured by the promise of Aamir Khan's acting, who played perhaps the worst role of his career

.

1. Aatank Hi Aatank


To the new internet generation fans of Rajinikanth, the only time they would have seen Rajini and Ghajini together would have been this

Pictured : A Moustache Twirling Competition

But, Aamir Khan and Rajinikanth have shared screen-space before, in a movie we had talked of tangentially here, it was a film that had Rajinikanth as Sonny Corleone and Aamir as Michael 'Al Pacino' Corleone. Seriously, with such an epic premise, what could go wrong?

Actually, Everything

Attempts to remake the Godfather in India haven't always been Sarkar-esque, and this movie leads as a prime example of how a nearly Frame By Frame copy of a masterpiece does not necessarily result in something even half as good

The Hairstyle doesn't help either

There are people who believe that the world deserves a fare share of Aatank (hi Aatank), and one of them has been generous enough to upload the whole movie on Youtube. Watch it, I dare you.

For all the detractors of Aamir Khan and his Satyamev Jayate initiative, don't probe into his personal life to find things to attack him with, just mention any one of these films to him, and watch him wilt.

PS : Honourable Mention - Mann, a horrible film which was too mediocre to even make it to this list.

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6 movies that created maximum controversy

Films have always been a part of our life, sometimes the territory we don't want to step in. Sometimes it is a mirror that shows the blunt truth which is hard to accept, particularly when it is on the big screen we all love. Sometimes the subject of the matter creates uncomfortability, sometimes it can also pierce our sensitivity. But whatever the root cause, movies in Bollywood have often found themselves lurking on the wrong side of the establishment.  But it is also a fact that sometimes the controversy has managed to give the extra push to the movie's cause. And here is the list of 6 movies that really didn't go down well with either the censor board or the common people (I don't know what common people is, but it is a substance that always floats on the surface, whenever the winds blow)

6) Sins (2005)

Directed by one of the forgotten figures in Bollywood, Mr. Vinod Pande (remember him? no? Think Red Swastik, another controversial venture starring Sherlyn Chopra. Still didnt figure out? OK, remember Star, starring Kumar Gaurav. OK, leave it), the movie features romantic involvement of a priest with a young girl. The movie was supposed to be Mr.Pandey's take on 'men of God'. Catholics strongly protested against the film saying it was a negative portrayal of their religion. The film was banned because of the negative portrayal of Catholicism and sexually explicit scenes. According to Pandey, he was not intending to target anyone in particular rather he was touching the streams of human conscience and forbidden love. Mr.Pandey was also summoned to Mumbai High court and had to explain his stand before the movie was released with an A certificate in some regions of India. According to him, the movie was based on a news story he read in 1988 about a Kerala priest sentenced to death on sexual harassment and murder charges

5) Fire (1996)

Homosexuality has always been a curse in Indian landscape so how were the so called religious and political group going to tolerate it on 16 mm large screen. The movie is loosely based on Ismat Chugtai's 1941 story Lihaf (The Quilt) and was one of the first mainstream  films in India to explicitly show homosexual relations. The story centered around the homosexual relationship between two sisters-in-law and was deemed too bold and explosive for its time. Amazingly the censor board decided to release the movie 'uncut' with an A certificate with just one modification - changing the name of the central character from Sita to Nita (using Sita was going to create more fire because of its image in Indian mythology and religion). This didnt go down well with several religious groups such as Shiv Sena and Bajrang Dal who carried fierce protests all over the country and burned posters. Some political group even labeled lesbian relationships as 'a sort of a social AIDS'. The movie was an average success on box office but gained good response from critics. But no matter what followed next, it didnt stop the bold and alternative cinema connoisseur Deepa Mehta to step into another sensitive topic - condition of widows - with her next flick 'Water'

4)Insaaf ka tarazu (1980)

It is a remake of 1976 Hollywood film Lipstick. Made by B.R.Chopra, it was way ahead of what people had seen in terms of violence and rape for the 1980 generation. The film created a huge shout all over the country because of portrayal of double rape scenes, one of which was of a minor, 13 years old Padmini Kolhapure. Some critics emphasized the fact that the movie eroticized rape for the male gaze. They also blamed the rape scenes to be incredibly gruesome while also tampering with morality of males and child molesters. The movie gained immensely from the controversy that surrounded it and was a commercial success. But to add to the air around, the movie made it big in the filmfare awards too grabbing as many as 3 awards and 9 nominations in all.

3) Bandit Queen (1994)

The film was based on the book  'Bandit Queen: The True Story of Phoolan Devi' by Mala Sen, it remains one of the most talked about non-mainstream movie in India. The movie gained immense amount of reputation, some good, mostly bad for its portrayal of nudity, sex and violence. The film was directed by then Legendary Shekhar Kapur and  narrated the story of the infamous Indian dacoit turned politician Phoolan Devi. The film attracted a lot of unwanted criticism because the brutal rape scenes didn't go down with audience. The film was immediately censored and banned in some areas. After its release there was a furore and most interestingly the most vocal of all the critics was Phoolan Devi herself. She accused the film to contain inaccuracies and blamed it to be inconsistent. 

The movie was not shown to Phoolan Devi for a long time and was later re released with certain cuts. The movie was a success and received a lot of critical acclaim at the 1994 Cannes Film Festival

2) Aandhi (1975)

Directed by none other than the man himself - Guljaar - it was one of the first films to get involved into political turmoil and controversies. The movie was banned by Indira Gandhi during the emergency. It was widely rumored that the movie's lead character, played by Suchitra Sen (After  Vyjayanthimala refused to be part of the film as she was afraid to enact the lead role which resembles to Indira Gandhi), was loosely based on the life of then prime minister Indira Gandhi. Frustrated by the ban, the film makers added a scene where the lead character states that her idol is Indira Gandhi. It was then that the government released the ban on the movie and it was relaunched in theaters. The movie got both commercial as well as critical acclaim and became one of the largest hits of that year. After Congress lost in the 1977 elections, the ruling Janata party cleared it and 'Aandhi' premiered on national television

This was the poster that ignited the controversy

As a matter of fact, the movie was not based upon Indira Gandhi but another politician, Tarkeshwari Sinha, who was an Indian politician and Indian independence movement activist from Bihar

1) Black Friday (2004)

Anuragh Kashyap has a penchant for stirring emotions, both good and bad, in people and Black Friday was one of his many creations that come in that elite category. Arguably one of the most controversial films ever made, it is based upon the book by the same name by  journalist Hussain Zaidi. The movie tries to ponder into the various events preceding and succeeding the terrible bomb blasts in Bombay in 1993. The movie was stuck in court for 2 years before it was released. And then just before its release, another petition was filed to stop the release stating that it could have negative impact on people regarding court's verdict on the bomb blast as the decision was still pending. After a long hustle the film was finally released and gained acclaim all across the world.

According to one of the most renowned critics Rajiv Masand - The actual blast scenes are shot in such a languid style, exactly the way a bystander would have experienced it.Believe me, no film yet has brought me so close to giving it a five out of five rating, but because it's just a little short of true greatness, I'm going to go with four of five for Anurag Kashyap's Black Friday.This is the kind of film to send to the Oscars.

Anuragh Kashyap had already tasted the pain of unreleased movies, when his 2003 movie Paanch never made to the theaters and is still viewed only on youtube and other streaming media

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6 Copied Filmy Songs That Are Better Than The Original

Pritam-ing a tune is not a new phenomenon, in fact if nothing else Pritam is just a lucky kid who has made use of Youtube and other song sites to his advantage (all he has to do to 'make a new tune' is search on youtube - Hit Korean/Malaysian/Indonesian/Sumatran/Madagascaran Song and he has the whole soundtrack for his next film ready), but the legends, the greats of our industry used to indulge in this from time to time (although not on the industrial scale that Rajesh Roshan, Annu Irritating Malik or the new kid on the block Pritam do).

Even the Musical Mind of The Boss had its Off Days

And some of these old time classics songs are so good, that we are more than willing to over-look these indiscretions on the part of our legends as peccadilloes.

6. Mil Gaya (Hum Kisi Se kam Nahi)


Kajal Kiran and Rishi Kapoor made every teenager go "awwww" at this song and Hum Kisi Se Kam Nahi was one of the biggest musicals of its decade. 

(Apologies for lack of video, Damn You YOUTUBE!) Anyway, listen to the song and imagine Neetu Singh and Chintu Ji frolicking around, doesn't that image make you go all awwwww? And this song sounds much better than the original, despite being a direct note by note copy,

Everyone is a fan of ABBA, (even TOUGH guys watch 'Dancing Queen' secretly in closed rooms) and they made a classic with this song, but somehow The Boss made it sound even better.

And of course, we have Neetu Singh.

5. Jeevan Ke Safar Mein Rahi (Munim Ji)


The father of the Boss, arguably the most melodious music director our country has ever had, was known for his wholly original compositions and legendary soundtracks (Guide, for one, comes to the mind), however, he too used a tune (a folk-tune, to be fair, not exactly a song) to craft a song which tells a beautiful tale of short lived romance in a space of roughly four minutes.

I don't know how he came across this tune, perhaps from a Looney Tunes cartoon, or from some old black'n'white spaghetti western. You see, the song is basically this

Although, only the opening of the song is copied from the tune, and S D sir put more work into it, adding changes that made the song a haunting melody (which is surprising since the source was so...flippant)


4. Itna na mujhse tu pyaar badha (Chhaya)


Another seminal piece of work from the golden age of hindi cinema, another song that would list in a lot of people's list of Favourite Songs of all time

whose composition was 'heavily inspired' by Mozart's Symphony no. 40

Although many (including me) would consider this act of lifting to be legit. First of all, the source material is awesome, secondly the filmy version was sung by Talat Mehmood and Lata didi, and thirdly, basing your song on a piece of classical music is not uncommon, watch this video and marvel at how many of your favourite angrezi gaane are based on Pachelbel's Canon in D (also known as the My Sassy Girl song)

3. Aao Twist Karein (Bhoot Bangla)


This movie was perhaps the only hindi film in history to blend Comedy and Horror seamlessly (and we are talking about Intentional comedy here), it was directed by and starred a young and awesome Mehmood, and the movie reaches its peak of awesomeness with this song

There have been only a few moments in world cinema that can be considered as immortalizing the 'Twist', one of them was much later from the time this movie was released, and had Uma ji and John babu twisting around, and the other was this, Mehmood taking a cue from Mick Jagger and letting it loose.

The music was again by The Boss, who also acted in the film, and thus perhaps did not get a chance to compose an original song, or perhaps he was trying to pay ode to Chubby Checker, because the lyrical content and theme are pretty much the same

Although, Mehmood kicks Chubby-Checker ass with his performance.

2. Ae Dil hai Mushkil (CID)


This has to be one of the most iconic songs recorded for a hindi film, and not just because of it being filmed on Johnny Walker sa'ab, but because of the legacy that the song has. And it is a song that doesn't just belong to the city of dreams, it is relevant even today in the pathos that routine life has become

It amazes me a lot that the music director was O P Nayyar, who always had his own unique style, thus it is just a little hard breaking to know that this particular song was lifted from a Videshi Folk-geet.

And the question that I think of again and again is, how did he come to hear of this song in the first place?

1. Dekho Ab To (Jaanwar)


This is a song that takes the icing, the cherry and everything off the cake. Not because of the tune-lifting that occurs here, but because the video itself presents to you a  painfully reconstructed Alternative Universe version of the most famous band in the world. Anyways, watch the video for yourself and find out

The Faux-Beatles in the song were part of an actual band called 'Ted Lyons and His Cubs' who have appeared in loads of hindi films (you can read more about them here).


And for that One person who has not heard of The Beatles and the original song, I am posting this video

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The Unreleased and The Unknown - Part 4 - Kissa Kursi Ka (1978)

'किस्सा कुर्सी का' अमृत नहाता द्वारा निर्देशित एक 'बेहतरीन' फिल्म है. फिल्म इमरजेंसी के दौरान बनाई गई थी और 1977 में भारत सरकार ने फिल्म के सारे प्रिंट्स (जितने हो सके) जला डाले थे. वजह साफ़ थी, फिल्म पहले राजनीति का कच्चा चिट्ठा खोल कर रखती है और फिर उसे  फ्रेम-दर-फ्रेम  उधेड़  कर उसकी धज्जियां उड़ाती है.  हालाँकि गुड़गाँव में मारुती फैक्ट्री में फिल्म के प्रिंट जला देने के बाद हाई कोर्ट ने आदेश दिया था  कि फिल्म के प्रिंट सुरक्षित किए जाएं और उसे रिलीज़ किया जाए, और इसी कृपा से फिल्म लोगों तक पहुँच सकी. 


फिल्म साफ़ है, सुथरी है, दुखी करने वाली है, Depressing है और बेहद जबरदस्त है... क्यूंकि 'किस्सा कुर्सी का'  एक इमानदार सिनेमा है. फिल्म संजय गाँधी के मारुती उद्योग केस, कॉन्ग्रेस  और राजनीति के समूचे सिस्टम पर पर एक उम्दा व्यंग है. 

संजय गाँधी 'तीस-हजारी' कोर्ट से बहार आते हुए 

फिल्म की पृष्ठभूमि और सन्दर्भ से आपको परिचित करने के लिए यह बता दूं की 'मारुती उद्योग' को संजय गांधी ने जन्म दिया था, जो की एक उम्दा बात थी, लेकिन गौर-तलब बात ये भी थी की उनके रहते मारुती उद्योग ने एक भी गाड़ी नहीं बनाई थी और इसी सिलसिले में उन पर भ्रष्टाचार के आक्षेप भी  लगाए गए थे  . जब यह फिल्म आई तो उसमें प्रतीकों के ज़रिये इस बात पर  करारा  व्यंग कसा गया था. (मसलन फिल्म में प्रेसिडेंट गंगू का चुनाव चिन्ह 'People's Car' थी जो की संजय गांधी का महत्वकांक्षी प्रोजेक्ट था). 


 फिल्म से जुड़ने के लिए,पहले, जून 15,1977 को इंडिया टुडे में छपी रिपोर्ट   का एक अंश पढ़ें - 
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THE CASE OF A MISSING FILM - By Dilip Bobb, Mandira Purie and Suchitra Behal


 "It is poetic justice that, among all his alleged sins, Sanjay Gandhi finds himself behind bars for a case that has aroused the least public interest. Sanjay, along with Indira Gandhi's former information and broadcasting (I&B) minister V.C. Shukla, is facing trial for allegedly destroying the prints of a Hindi feature film Kissa Kursi Ka (KKK), produced by Janata Party MP, Amrit Nahata. Most people are under the mistaken impression that Sanjay's alleged destruction of the KKK prints is a relatively minor offence. However, if convicted, both Sanjay and Shukla are liable to a maximum punishment of life imprisonment. In KKK, the main political party had a "people's car" as its election symbol-an obvious take-off on Sanjay's dubious Maruti car project.....KKK was sent to a seven-member revising committee by the Censor Board and further on to the Central Government by the committee. The I&B ministry sent Nahata a showcause notice which listed a total of 51 objections to his film....Shukla ordered that the film, including the original negatives, be seized."
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अब हम फिल्म की बात करते हैं. मैं कोमल नहाता, तरन आदर्श, या फिर खालिद मोहोम्मद बनकर इस फिल्म का रिव्यू नहीं लिख रहा हूँ. मैं बस अपनी बात कह रहा हूँ क्योंकि मैं दिल से चाहता हूँ  कि आप लोग यह फिल्म देखें. 'किस्सा कुर्सी का'  फिल्मों की उस श्रेणी में आती है जिसमें एक भी सीन फ़ालतू नहीं होता, एक भी हरकत 'यूं-ही' नहीं कर दी जाती और छोटा से छोटा 'सिम्बल' भी बिना सोचे समझे जबरदस्ती नहीं रख दिया जाता. कुछ लोग कह सकते हैं की फिल्म 'Technically Sound' नहीं है लेकिन मुझे नहीं लगता  कि ऐसी फिल्म बनाते वक्त, बनाने वाले के मन में 'तकनीकि' प्राइमरी लिस्ट में ज़रा भी होती है.  ऐसी फिल्मों का तकनीकि होती है - सन्देश देना' और 'बात कहना'  - और उसे यह फिल्म बखूबी निभाती है. 

फिल्म अपनी एक एक बात Symbols के ज़रिए कहती है. यहाँ तक  कि  किरदारों के नाम भी Symbolic हैं. मसलन - देशपाल (प्रेसिडेंट का सलाहकार), जनता (शबाना आज़मी, आम जनता के रूप में) और जन-गन देश (एक काल्पनिक देश).  

Symbols कितने सटीक हैं ये समझाने की लिए फिल्म के कुछ कुछ-एक सीन की बात करता हूँ - 

1. फिल्म में एक सीन है जब फिल्म के लीड किरदार, प्रेसिडेंट गंगू, को बहोत भयंकर पेट दर्द और कान दर्द की शिकायत होती है. जांच-पड़ताल के बाद डॉक्टर कहता है कि, जनता की चीख पुकार सुन कर आपके कानों का पर्दा फट गया है. आपके कानों को तेल की नहीं, संगीत की जरुरत है...आपको पानी पीना मना है, आप सिर्फ  Scotch Whiskey पीजिए. आप कानों के लिए सुर, जिगर के लिए  सुरा और आँखों के लिए सुंदरी का सेवन करें...और यदि आपको तुरंत ठीक होना है तो आप जल्दी से कोई भाषण दीजिए और उदघाटन करिए, तुरंत आराम पड़ जाएगा. 

2. फिल्म में शबाना आज़मी ने एक गूंगी का किरदार अदा किया है और गूंगी का नाम है 'जनता'. ज़ाहिर सी बात है कि जनता राजनीति में गूंगी ही होती है. फिल्म के एक सीन में जनता को भी पेट दर्द की शिकायत होती है. डॉक्टर जांच पड़ताल के बाद बताता है कि तुम्हें गरीबी का रोग हो गया है...  इस रोग में खाना खाना मना है, ग़म खा सकती हो, गाली खा सकती हो, धक्के खा सकती हो, गोते खा सकती हो. दावा दारू मना है, पढना लिखना मना है...इस बीमारी में घुट-घुट कर मरने कि इजाज़त है लेकिन रोना मना है और सबसे बड़ी बात ये हैं कि इस बीमारी में बोलना मना है.

3. फिल्म कई मायनों में 'साहसी' है, जोरदार भी और दूर-दर्शी भी क्यूंकि ये conspiracy theories की बात कहती है.   उदाहरण  के तौर पर, प्रेसिडेंट गंगू  अपने पड़ोसी देश 'अंधेर नगरी' के राजा के पास जाकर कहता है कि तुम्हारी जनता तुमसे नाराज है और हमारी जनता हमसे. ना तो तुम्हारे पास उनकी समस्याओं का हल है और ना ही मेरे पास इनकी समस्याओं का. इसलिए चलो हम लोग लड़ाई की घोषणा करते हैं. इससे लोगों का ध्यान गरीबी और पेट से हटकर देशभक्ति में लग जाएगा.  तुम  हम पर थूकना और हम तुम पर थूकेंगे. तुम हमारे खिलाफ ज़हर उगलना और हम तुम्हारे खिलाफ.15 दिन की लड़ाई लड़ी जाए, देशभक्ति का ये नशा कम से 5 साल तो चलेगा ही और पांच साल तुम्हारी-गद्दी महफूज़ रहेगी ...उसके बाद कोई और खेल खेलेंगे. 

इसी लिए मैंने शुरुआत में कहा था कि किस्सा कुर्सी का'  फिल्मों की उस श्रेणी में आती है जिसमें एक भी सीन फ़ालतू नहीं होता, एक भी हरकत 'यूं-ही' नहीं कर दी जाती और छोटा से छोटा 'सिम्बल' भी बिना सोचे समझे जबरदस्ती नहीं रख दिया जाता.

फिल्म देखते वक़्त आपको मीरा का किरदार सोनिया गाँधी के किरदार (कॉंग्रेस की चुनावी रणनीति) जैसा लगेगा (हालाँकि सोनिया गाँधी उस समय शासन में नहीं थी) . मीरा का किरदार इस बात को बखूबी रखता है की राजनीति का मतलब सिर्फ चुनाव जीतना नहीं बल्कि उससे ज्यादा चुनाव  जिताना है. इसीलिए मीरा एक मदारी के जमूरे को प्रेसिडेंट पद का उम्मीदवार बनाती है (जो संजय संजीवनी बेचता हुआ दिखाया गया है).

मीरा एक जमूरे को प्रेसिडेंट के रूप में तैयार करती हुई 

गौर-तलब बात यह है की फिल्म को कोँग्रेस को उखाड़ फेंकने और संजय गाँधी के विरुद्ध जनमत इकठ्ठा करने में महत्वपूर्ण माना गया था. फिल्म के 1977 में रिलीज़ के बाद जनता पार्टी की सरकार आई थी. 

मार्च 26, 1977 को जनता पार्टी सपोर्टर्स

अपनी तरफ से मैंने अपनी बात कह दी है. बहुत संभव है कि मैं थोडा और बेहतर ढंग से कह सका होता. लेकिन मेरा ख़याल है कि मैं इतना जरुर कह पाया हूँ कि आपको यह फिल्म देखनी चाहिए. ये फिल्म राजनीति का कच्चा-चिट्ठा समझने के लिए देखिए, मनोहर सिंह, सुरेखा सीकरी और शबाना आज़मी की बेहतरीन अदाकारी के लिए देखिए और कोमल नहाता के संघर्ष के लिए देखिए. फिल्म थोड़ा भारी ज़रूर है लेकिन ठीक उतनी ही भारी है जितना कि सच होता है.  

ये रहा फिल्म देखने का लिंक - 

और अंत में कोमल नहाता के  कुछ  दुर्लभ  पन्ने हैं, जो फिल्म के बारे में और रोमांचक एवं अंदरूनी जानकारी देते हैं. पढ़ा जा सकता है  - 

बाकी का पढने के लिए इधर  क्लिक करें 

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Bollywood On-Screen Blunders

An official declaration that this is talking about goof-ups/bloopers/mistakes in some very popular and appreciated Bollywood movies. Though I am mentioning just a very few here, there of course are hundreds of such mistakes in our movies and I am sure most of you have some of your own observations to add to this list. But nevertheless, since I am writing this, and not you, I will talk of the ones I found most interesting and unnoticed.

Ok, so we start with some very subtle ones. The first one that comes to me is Karan Johar's 2001 (keep a note of this) blockbuster Kabhi khushi Kabhi Ghum. While the internet has much to talk of the mistakes in the movie, I picked some of the most interesting (read annoying sometimes) ones - Amitabh is shown using a Nokia Communicator device which was launched in 1996-1998 and Amitabh was using it in the movie's ten-years-ago era which becomes 1991 assuming the present time of the movie to be 2001. It is like saying my dad gifted me an android phone on my first birthday. Then an even more unnoticable one, because of its appearance during a starry party (which, by the way had son and father dancing with scarcely dressed ladies in front of the mother and 3 species of grandmothers, what a pity), is Amitabh singing 'Aati Kya Khandala', again in the 1991 time frame whereas Ghulam, was itself a 1997 movie. By the time Rani mukherji asks SRK (again in the 1991 era) why he wasn't replying to her e-mails and SRK drives the fat child Hrithik (who looses enough to become a hunk and grows an extra finger with age) in a Range Rover (yes yes, again in 1991), you know Karan Johar really sucked at managing flashback.

A similar anachronism was left unnoticed in the recent blockuster '3 Idiots' (yeah well, Amir Khan isn't that much of a perfectionist then). While Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi) is in coma state - that age old Bollywood patented coma (remember Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega) where you are just muted and paused but you can see, hear and understand every fucking thing around you; at the hospital, Amir uses an Airtel Data Card to make Raju see his friend Farhan Querashi. You got it then, didn't you? 3 Idiots was a 2009 movie and those college-time events were supposed to be 10 years back (remember Chatur making 10 year long challenge?) when Airtel did not sell Data Cards. No wait, fuck, Airtel did not exist before 2005! Again in the same movie, Kareena shows Amir (pause here and read the last 3 words again) how to deliver a baby using YouTube which came into existence somewhere in 2005 whereas the scene was again part of the 10 year old flashback. May be ICE was an incredibly awesome-kick-ass college where people had invented Youtube and Data cards long before Amir made the Virus Inverter and suicidal Lobo made the camera-cum-helicopter (or whatever it was).

Now, the above two were not noticed because of big names and stars. Here is a one most of us wouldn't have noticed not because of stars (and there were stars involved indeed) but because we all would have wanted the movie to end sooner. This is about Made in India Superhero Krrish where Rohit (Senior Hrithink Roshan) is busy in Singapore (or anywhere outside India for that matter) making Future Machine for 2 years and his mom (maintain hai!!) calls him to inform his wife is pregnant while he had been away for 2 years. I guess Krrish wasn't the superhero then, the sperm that traveled from Singapore to India on its own and then made it to the exact destination (read fallopian tube in biological terms), was the real unsung superhero. Annu Kapoor from Vicky Donor would kill to recruit Rohit for such a supernatural sperm sample (and the movie will be called Jaadoo Donor then).

Big B again comes to the party with a mistake in the movie Baghban (and I hate this movie because my mom starts with - this is what really happens in life). Amitabh and Hema get separated for 6 months just after Holi (what kind of asshole children they produced, and all 4 of them, real consistency) and within those six months between March (Holi) and September, they celebrate both Karva Chauth (comes in October, but fine, we can modify Indian festivals' dates for Big B) and to your awe, Valentine's Day as well.

WTF mom!!

Another Shah Rukh Khan blockbuster Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai and you know what, all these SRK league movie makers Karan Johar and Yash Chopra and lot seem to be really good at making the public eat all kind of illogical shit through their movies. Rani Mukherji dies (I wanted her to as well, I was too senti on the SRK-Kajol pair at that age) leaving 8 letters to her daughter Anjali (what an uncommon name in Bollywood), one for each of her birthday. Can you imagine what she would have written for a 1,2,3 year old girl and what would the girl have read off those?

Ok so now we move back in time a little. Talking of the greatest blockbuster Sholay (no no, this is not about poor Ramlal and all the filthy things he needed to do for the hathkate thakur), the village at Ramgarh had no electricity, and we can see that when Jaya moves around the house putting the oil lamps off with Amitabh playing the mouth organ and watching her (and they were recently married, in fact, Sholay's shooting got delayed due to Jaya's pregnancy).

Now why would a no-power-supply village have a water tank (so high) on which Dharam Ji can perform his antiques - both while proposing Basanti and while threatening Kalia and the other two insignificant men (poor chaps, I am not sure how much they got paid for their roles)? I mean how did they get water up to that tank without electricity?



Here is a very technical one and again an upset to the "Amir-Khan-is-a-perfectionist" religion. This is about balls - no I am not saying Amir is coward or something similar. In the movie Lagaan, the time frame shown was 1892 and they bowled 6-balls-an-over which came into existence in the mid nineties only. According to Wikipedia, between 1889 and 1899, the English played cricket with a 5-ball over. Bhuvan really had balls to stand up against Captain Russel, in fact one extra per over !

And to the pleasure of all of us, my list today ends with again the one and only SRK. It is only fitting since we started with his movie and it is impossible to keep him out of any discussion about the good, bad and ugly (emphasis on the latter two) of Bollywood. So anyway, this one is from the recent mindlessly created disappointment called Ra-One (and I was already disappointed at Random Access One naming) where Papa Shah Rukh Khan (who incredibly pronounces Keys as Kiss and eats noodles with curd, Tamils should ban him from Tamil Nadu I'd say) is shown as a Tamil Brahmin guy but is buried with a coffin and all the black-and-white dressed people and the well sung backdrop song and beautifully made rain-burial scene. The next scene, Kareena releases SRK's ashes in the river. So, just for the fantasy of a Watchmen's Comedian's rainy burial scene shot in black and white for the effect of it, the director buried a Tam-Bram and then, for the sake of the Indian ritual, somehow found his ashes as well to flow in the river. Fine, SRK is a superstar, but does it really justify killing the man twice, once for burial and once for his ashes. There's more in the movie, the malicious Ra-One software takes over that hindi-speaking jackie-chan's body and then he is shown living with the grandmother of the dead guy enjoying some random samurai noodle soup. What the fuck! Didn't Ra-One come out from software to hardware just to find and kill Lucifer? Or may be that soup was supposed to help with his objective.

Now if there are mistakes you found in movies Aashiqui.in, Bittoo Boss or Love, Break-ups, Zindagi and others in that league (read insignificant), then you really got courage to have watched those. Anyway, this is all for now, may Bollywood keeps giving us more and more to talk about on Filmistani. Rock karo sab log !

P S : jinhe aur bhi movies ki aur bhi galatiyan bataane ki chull mach rahi hai, add comments if you may.

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