A lot of entertainment value from the movies is derived by watching older films and chuckling at our younger selves (Hum bhi kitne chutiye the), because our younger selves loved those films and fantasized about being the Sando-Baniyan wearing Hero or going to College with the pretty heroine. I am a huge fan of the early 90s, and thanks to youtube (etc) am able to revisit that era of craziness in form of the movie songs. And many times I have been dumbstruck, looking at the actress and wondering - How The Hell Did She Become a Leading Lady!
But then
I realized that the fault wasn't entirely mine, because along with the passage
of times, these ladies too changed dramatically, and since my memory of them
associated itself with their present looks, I guess I thought that this was how
they always looked.
Sadly,
that psychological myth has been shattered for me, and thanks to the
unforgiving powers of images.google.com, I fished out photos of 4 major
actresses from their early movies, and it was only by sitting on a huge
reclining arm-chair that I prevented myself from reeling. I present to you,
case in point
4. Karishma Kapoor
Karishma
has been out of the acting game for quite a long time, but there was a time
when she was the reigning queen, and not just because she loved singing and
dancing with Govinda, she had films like Jaanwar, Dil to Pagal Hai and Zubeida
to her credit. However she started out her career with a (classic) film called
Prem Qaidi, in which she looked like this
If the look of worry on her face is about her
future, then she has little to worry about
But then
of course, she did the cult-hit Andaz Apna Apna, where she had the epic line of
dialogue ‘Chalo Chalo Dande Maarein’,
and she starred in the film when she had a weird sense of dress, and a very
very strange face
I have to exclude this image from my
mind everytime I think of Andaz Apna Apna
Perhaps someone was brutal enough, or Kind enough to tell
her that there was something seriously wrong with the way she looked, and there
is only a limit to which one can use the Kapoor family name and succeed. She
might have looked up her Father’s Stellar career and decided that it was time
to see a make over specialist
And so she became a
dude with Long Hair
But I guess around this time
the celestial powers that be that watch over these over paid Bollywood
stars decided that she be given a break, and magically she first started
turning into
Although her transformation was still not complete, she had
two more steps left. One was Screen Queen
Yes, she has Do Me eyes, AND an hourglass figure
And the other one, the most surprising one is her Current,
Milf Avatar
So perhaps the key to becoming Hot is getting
Married and giving Birth, here’s looking at you Deepika
3.
Kajol
I have been a fan of Kajol since, well, forever. In fact,
saying that I am a fan would be an understatement, I have been in love with
Kajol for a long long time. I believe the two of us have a connection, she
hasn’t realized it yet, perhaps a long career of working with Shah Rukh Khan
has addled her mind but I am waiting for the day that she comes to her senses.
A lot of people might argue saying that Kajol should not be
in this list since technically even now she cannot be called Hot, but then, a
lot of people are not making this list. I
am making this list, and I consider her to be thus.
But first, let us look at how she looked before she helped a
lot of young men become boys by filming the songs ‘Honthon Pe Bas Tera Naam Hai’ and ‘Jaati hoon Main’.
Ma’am..er…there is something between your
brows, ma’am....ma’am!
And
believe me, because I am not a (very) cruel bastard, I have chosen this pic
from amongst those which are almost bearable. Catch my drift and don’t go image
searching for Kajol’s unibrow.
Ok, I know you
would, so I will help you, perhaps this will stop you from heading over to
google images
If shown at a young age, this pic has the
potential to stop many potential criminals from venturing into a life of crime
Perhaps
I shall elaborate on my love for Kajol, I believe I need to defend her. You
see, she married Ajay Devgan (or Devgn, whatever). And if a girl marries a guy
who looks like (and is) Ajay Devgan, then that says a lot about the milk of
human kindness that sloshes within her.
See! No Unibrow
It is a sad thing
that she has more or less given up her acting career except for the occasional
big budget flop with her husband or a random film with one of the three Khans,
come back Kajol, there’s always room for someone who looks so pretty
And if you say you DO NOT find her Pretty, I
shall find you and kill you
2. Shilpa Shetty
This
tall, long legged dusky siren hasn’t really had much of an acting career as
much as she has had a dancing career, and the occasional international reality
show, or Yoga (wink wink) DVDs that makes men across all ages exercise. But
then, Ye India hai sir, and when you
look THIS hot, you do not need to have much of an acting career.
Pictured : THIS hot
However,
she too had her weird phase, before she made her debut in Baazigar, at the age
of 16, I present to you Shilpa at the age of 15
So basically when I said that I am not a cruel
bastard, I lied
If
you are thinking, Come On! That’s a Childhood pic, every one is ugly as a kid.
Well, that is NOT a childhood pic, if you want one, I shall give you this
And by pasting this pic here, I have reserved
for myself a nice and warm place in Hell
Okay,
I accept, I am an asshole. It’s unfair for me to post pictures of the time
before she started her extra ordinary film safar,
so I give to you, my good friends, Ms Shetty the actress
Here she is reading How To Look Hot in The Future
Despite,
or maybe because of her earlier lackluster career, Shilpa realized that there
is more to life than dancing with Sanjay Dutt and giving him fever (although a
lot of us, including me are thankful for that), she knew that there was
something special in her which would be the envy of most actresses around her,
and she danced in a song that has in my esteemed opinion, made her a legend.
Thanks E. Niwas, for doing something right in your life
Her
Bollywood career is more or less over, apart from the one-off Shutting up and
Bouncing Basket Ball anthem etc, she too has got married like the two previous
ladies in this list, and after getting married, she has perhaps decided to get
hotter everyday. I leave you with this nice wallpaper of her
Say Thank You…to the wonderful institution of
Marriage
1.
Rekha
Okay,
I admit the rest of the actresses in this were more of a personal choice, but
for this list, Goddess Rekha is a Universal and a natural choice. They say a
picture is worth many kinds of words, so I present to you the eternal beauty
when she wasn’t so eternal
It’s hard to find what is Right with this pic
Yes,
that IS Rekha, or rather that was Rekha when she started her career. And no,
this is not of the time when she was a childhood actress and worked part time
in the circus of Horrors, this is from an actual movie.
Being
the daughter of a legend, perhaps she had an easy entry even when she looked
so…different. But then, someone would have dared to go close to her and
whispered in her bejeweled ears that something needs to be done. So something
was done
Something is not always better than Nothing
Wipe
that look of incredulity from your face, that too is Rekha. And she wasn’t
doing one of those multiple roles in the same film projects, this image is from
a slightly later stage of her early career, and it is quite possible that this is what worked back then. Also, this
This seems like Forced Seduction
So
I guess somewhere along the line she made a deal with Lucifer, and decided that
she is going to look beautiful throughout her multiple lives
Post-Deal Rekha, dealing with her new looks
One
of her biggest hits was a movie called Khoon
Bhari Maang, it was about a girl who initially looks ugly, is left by her
husband, becomes hot and gets revenge. In retrospect it might be her most
autobiographical role till date. Rekha has been (reportedly) married multiple
times, so going by the logic I stated in the earlier part of this article, that
would be a reason why she is close to sixty and is still very very beautiful
As close as ten years ago, (considering her
career span), it was More than okay to call her sexy
Although
she doesn’t enjoy mud baths with Akshay Kumar as much as she used to, and has
finally consented to playing Mother roles (perhaps because of a bet she lost
once to Rakesh Roshan), the transformation in the way she used to be and how
she looks presently is the most striking ever!
Thank you, thank you. Yes I am here to
declare that I shall be staying beautiful Forever. And yes, Lucifer is dead.
